just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize