At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize