plz talk dirty to me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
