just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
