Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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