She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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