So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
