Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
