You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize