i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
