He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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