i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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