if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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