I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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