You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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