everyone is single if you try hard enough
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
