Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
