what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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