Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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