I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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