Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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