So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
