i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
COCAINE IS GR8
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
