We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
