If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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