grandma shit on top of the toilet
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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