Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize