That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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