I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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