Swine flu is the new snow day.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
