I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
