ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
third nipple confirmed
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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