actually, I'm a sock model
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
