I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
