the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
