come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
