it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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