White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
