it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
