i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
