Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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