my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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