Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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