Christians are straight up FREAKS
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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