I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
why do cheetos always look like penises
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I need a burrito and a hug.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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