the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
