About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
