please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
