I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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