I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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