were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
