In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
