I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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