4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You ruined the universe
Randomize
