they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So much rum. So many feels.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
