so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
