Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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