who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
