I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
