You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
